Review of the Tenga Egg – Different Strokes for Different Yokes

  Upon seeing the Tenga Egg, I just couldn’t help but smile. Kawaii desu yo! (They’re so cute!) And they come in their own little egg carton, just like real eggs! ^-^

I’m not sure what to compare them to.

On one hand, they remind me of the Easter eggs I used to make as a kid. Remember the kits with the plastic sleeves that would shrink to fit the egg when you dipped it in boiling water? That’s kind of what the wrapper reminds me of. And they come in a container that is almost exactly like the plastic eggs you (or the Easter Bunny) hide out in the yard for the kids to find. I’ve done an adult egg hunt that involved raffle tickets instead of candy in the eggs. Hiding a few Tenga Eggs in an adult egg hunt might be a fun little prize. ^-^

On the other hand, it kinda reminds me a of Kinder Surprise egg. You know, the little chocolate eggies with tiny toys inside? You open the shell and there’s a soft, white egg sleeve. Inside the egg sleeve, there’s a plastic tube containing a little packet of lube. Unfortunately, the lube contains parabens. Methylparaben, to be exact. That can easily be switched out for another bottle of water-based lube, or sample packets if you take advantage of the free lubricant samples like I do.

They’re designed to be small and discreet. Who would assume something that looks like an Easter egg would house a masturbation sleeve? Still, people might wonder why you have a plastic egg in your pocket, laying around somewhere (after Easter time), in the fridge, etc…

These little guys come in six texture styles: Silky, Stepper, Twister, Spider, Clicker, and Wavy. The one my hubby and I got to try out was Silky.

I said “my hubby and I” because I used it, too. You can turn the Tenga Egg inside out and place it over the head of a dildo or another toy to make it feel that much better. However, placing different materials together can be bad for your toys. I would recomend using it on TPE toys, as that is what the Tenga Egg is made of. If you decide to use it on something other than TPE, put a condom on the toy before you place the Tenga Egg over it. That way, there’s no danger of chemical reactions and melting toys. And make sure the Tenga Egg is secure on the toy! You don’t want it coming off in you!

Hubby’s Experience:

Well, first he gave me a funny look and watched curiously as I opened it. After I got it all lubed up with some Hathor Aphrodisia (review here), I slipped it over his head and went to work. It was interesting to see how far it stretched on him. (No, I didn’t try to stretch it out and let it zing across the room like I did with the Blossom Sleeve (review here). That was fun watching that, though.) It’s really stretchy, though. The top of the egg is most stretchy, which means it ends up flush against the head of his member when fully stretched. What I like about the Tenga Egg is that it’s thin enough that I can still feel him underneath, rather than the Blossom Sleeve which made him feel like a big, squishy tube. You can’t do oral with it at the same time like with the Blossom Sleeve, but you can put your lips on your guy’s head while you’re using the egg on him to provide a little more pressure.

Directions

Well, the directions are in Japanese, so I’ll just give you some ideas:

The first way is to let air be trapped in it (which can be tricky) with the main stimulation coming from the opening of the egg rubbing against the ridge where head of the penis meets the shaft. It feels similar to a pair of lips being there. Stimulation also comes from the head hitting the top of the egg with every stroke down the shaft. Grasp the base of the egg along with the shaft, and the egg bobs up and down sort of blow job style.This can either be done by himself or with a little help from you.

Another way is to squeeze all the air out, creating a vacuum (this creates a feeling more like a vagina rather than a blow job). That way, the head is making complete contact with the egg, and you can either: #1 go about licking, kissing, sucking your man’s member and balls, or #2 If he’s doing it himself, he can stretch the egg up and down his member like in the video later in the review.

Can it be re-used?

Well, depends on who you ask. One company told me that it’s only for one use. What a waste letting it end up in a landfill after one use. You can recycle your sex toys, though! Babeland’s affiliate manager did some digging for me and found out that the Tenga Eggs are meant to be reused, but may last for only a few uses. They are designed to be washed with soap and warm water (Not hot! You’ll melt it!). There’s no reason not to keep using it until it goes kaput, then recycle it.

Material: Made of phthalate-free TPE

Lube: Water-based and silicone-based are fine. Some lube reviews here.

Ingredient List of Lube Included w/ Tenga Egg:

water, glycerin, sodium, polyacrylate, hydroxyethycellulose, methylparaben

Cleaning: Soap and warm water. Careful not to get the water too hot.

Size: About 2.5” Designed to be discreet.

Pros: Cute, small, discreet, phthalates-free, soft and stretchy, variety of textures, multi-pack comes in an egg carton (How cute is that? ^-^), feels great for hubby, works nicely as a vibrator/dildo cover

Cons: Even if properly cared for, they won’t last long (5-10 uses). Lube included contains parabens and glycerin.

Summary: 4.5/5 Mostly because it might not last as long as you’d like it to. Ours hasn’t ripped yet. I try to be careful of my nails while cleaning/using it. I could take off because of the lube having parabens and glycerin, but it’s not like you can’t just get rid of it and use a different lube. I mean, you’ll end up having to use another lube after the first use if you decide to use the lube packet anyway.

I’d say the Tenga Egg is a great little buy. Very cute, comes in lots of styles, and would make a great naughty gift from the Easter Bunny, a nice stocking stuffer, or just a cute little present. What can I say? I’m a sucker for gimmicks, especially when they’re cute. Why do I think this egg is so cute? I have no idea. I just do.

P.S. If you want cute, watch the promo vid. There’s little fluffy chickies that stampede at the end! Interestingly, they have a rooster (aka a cock) pecking at the egg in the intro.

A somewhat silly and entertaining promo video of the Tenga Egg. At the end, it says series 2, but I think that just means the second set of 3 out of the six they have now. I thought the little chickies were very cute. ^_^

FTC Statement: The Tenga Egg was donated by Babeland for their Affiliate Review Program.

This Week's Naughty Knitting Pattern: A Bra w/ Secret Condom Pocket!

Reposted from: www.knitacondomamulet.com

Disclaimer: I want to make it clear that I do not claim this pattern as my own work. It is the creation of Lisa Daehlin for the purpose of promoting safe sex. Check it out!

*Bra Pouch Condom Amulets

by Lisa Daehlin [bio HERE]

I.  Bra Condom Amulet 

I have the habit of stuffing my bra. No, not with tissues or balled-up socks to simulate uber-boobs, but with my credit card, metro card, post-its with notes-to-self, sometimes even loose change when I don’t have a pocket handy. At times, it brings odd looks when I whip out a twenty to pay for lunch or extract my cell phone from it’s bosomy cradle. More often, however, it brings nostalgic comments such as “my grandma used to keep her money there.”

Based on the string-theory, bikini, that is (and, therefore, wonderfully adjustable to many sizes), the Condom Bra is made in 2 pieces. Each cup is a triangle, knit from the topmost point down towards the fullest part of the breast and then gently shaped as work continues to the bottom edge underneath the breast. That edge is finished with a row of eyelet through which are laced the I-cords, tying it all together.

Size: Adjustable (Sample is knit for size 38DD)

Finished Measurements: 10” high and 13” at widest point of breast, 9" bottom edge (side "seam" to center front). NOTE: It’s easy to add length/width to accommodate your own lovely breast. The basic roadmap of this design will get you there. Go for it!

Materials:

Louet Euroflax Linen Sport Weight (50g, 135yds), 1 skein of Soft Coral

Size 3 US knitting needles (double points for I-cord)

Small size (D or E) crochet hook, darning needle

Gauge:  18 sts. over 4 inches, stockinette

Pattern Stitches:

Garter Stitch (k every row)

Stockinette Stitch
(k RS row, p WS row)

Eyelet Stitch (yo, k2tog)

INSTRUCTIONS

Cup (make 2):

Beginning at upper edge
of cup, cast on 5 sts.
Work in garter stitch for 2 rows.

Next 3 rows: K2, yo, k across.

Next row (RS): K2, yo, k across.

Next row (WS): K2, yo, purl to last 2 sts, k2.

Repeat last 2 rows until your work is as wide as you want your cup/triangle to be. For the sample I made, it was 60 sts or 13".

Begin shaping: Count the number of sts and divide evenly by 3 and put markers between sections. I had 20 sts in each section. If you have any odd stitches, put them in the center section.

Shaping row (RS): K2, yo, k2tog, k to marker, slip marker (sm); ssk, k to 2 sts before next marker, k2tog, sm; knit to last 4 sts, ssk, yo, k2.

Next row (WS): K2, purl to last 2 sts, k2.

Repeat last 2 rows until the center section disappears. In the sample, there were 40 sts remaining  and the cup measured 9".

Next row (RS): Work in pattern as established, but without center decreases.

Next row (WS): Knit.

Eyelet row (RS): K1, (yo, k2tog) to last st, k1.

Next row (WS): Knit.

Bind off all sts.

Pocket: Pocket is made in the same manner as the cup/triangle, with the starting point at the bottom. When work reaches desired depth (approx. 20 rows).

Next row (RS): Work a row of eyelets as on cup.

Next row (WS): Knit.

Bind off. Sew onto the bra leaving the top edge open. (A special thanks to Ravi and Steve of NYC SNB for helping me decide on pocket design/position.)

I-cords: Measure from side “seam” to center front of bottom edge of bra. Make 2 I-cords this length plus approx. 4" for tying at center front. Use crochet hook to weave these cords into the garment through the eyelet rows. Secure the front/bottom edge I-cords to the side “seam” with several tack sts.

Measure from nape of neck down the front/outer edge of the breast/cup to bottom/cast off edge then to center of back. Make two I-cords this length plus 10" for tying. Weave them in. It is not necessary to sew these cords into place (unless you so choose to specifically position the cups). Lace it up, tuck a condom in the pocket and hit the town!

The Hot Hula - Kama Sutra Cosmo's Way

Cosmo's Kama Sutra Instructions:

Your guy lies on his back with a pillow propped under his head. Facing him, lower yourself onto his member and put your hands and knees on either side of his torso. Once he’s deep inside you, gently swivel your hips from side to side and, if you want, all around.

Carnal Challenge

Why You'll Love It:

His hands can explore even the most tucked-away areas of your private parts. And your digits can give him some hands-on instruction, so you get the type of touch you need. Another passion plus: This position is perfect for languorous lovemaking, and the fact that you’re so close increases the intimacy.

Thanks for the tip Cosmo! Check in next Friday for another position from Cosmo Sutra. Alternatively, you can just get the book so you know all of them!

This Week's Naughty Knitting Pattern - The Penis Cozy (aka The Willy Warmer)

I made one of these for my husband after his vasectomy. The pattern is from StrangeButTrewe.com and can be found here in PDF form. Click the PDF link. The download link on Strangebuttrewe's website gives a 404.

Disclaimer: I'd like to make it very clear that this is NOT my own pattern. It was created by Strangebuttrewe and is Copyright 2005 Matie Trewe www.StrangeButTrewe.com .

Materials:

size 6 (4mm) double pointed needles

worsted weight yarn (think itch-proof)

Gauge:

6 stitches/inch

Size:

About 4" in circumfrence, to fit an average size flaccid penis.

Penis cover:
Make a slip knot, KF,B&F in knot.
Slide stitches to other end of needle and KF&B in each stitch (6 stitches)
Divide sts onto three needles, join and work in rounds.
Round 1: KF&B in each stitch (12 sts)
Round 2: Knit.
Round 3: *KF&B, K1 repeat from * across (18 sts)
Rounds 4&5: Knit
Round 6: *KF&B, K2 repeat from * across (24 sts)
Knit plain to desired length, or
Cable pattern:
Rounds 1-3: P1, K4, P1, K18
Round 4: P1 cable back 2, P1, K18
Repeat this pattern until you reach the desired length

K19, put 16 sts on stitch holder or waste yarn

Scrotal Pouch:
Invisible cast on 28 sts (or cast on 28 sts with waste yarn and then knit with working yarn)
Knit in rouds to desired length of scrotal pouch minus one inch.
Fold pouch in half to find edges,
Round 1: Knit to 2 stitches before edge, SSK, K2 tog, knit to 2 stitches before the next edge, SSK, K2 tog, knit to end of round.
Round 2: Knit.
Round 3: Repeat Round 1.
Round 4: Knit.
Rounds 5-6: Repeat Round 1.
Knit to first edge and weave sts together.

Ribbing:
Place stitches from holder and from invisible cast onto dpns.
Rounds 1-3: *K2, P2, repeat from * across.
Round 4: *K2tog, yo, P2tog, yo, repeat from * across.
Rounds 5-8: *K2, P2, repeat from * across.
Bind off.

Make a drawstring from crochet chain, I-cord or ribbon and thread through eyelets.

Warning: Double Diver advertised by Cal Exotics as TPR may actually be made from Jelly Rubber (contains harmful phthalates)

Just a warning to all those who have bought the Double Diver recently, you may have received a Double Diver that was made of jelly rubber instead of TPR. The Double Diver is advertised on the box as being made of TPR, a safe material. Recently, Cal Exotics has had a problem with their manufacturer making the Double Diver out of jelly rubber, the wrong material and a phthalate-laden one at that.

If you suspect your Double Diver is jelly rubber, contact Cal Exotics immediately!

Phone: (909) 606-1950

Or click “Contact” at the top of their page and fill out the form.

How will you know if it’s made of jelly rubber?

TPR has a light smell, unlike the very chemical smell of jelly rubber. Jelly rubber smells much like a new shower curtain. The smell is actually dangerous chemicals leeching out of the material. Just touching the material may make your hands smell terrible.

My discovery and my ordeal:

I discovered this when I received the Double Diver as a review assignment. It smelled just like the Ultimate Triple Stimulator that I had tried earlier before I knew it had phthalates. I contacted Al Bloom from Cal Exotics about it. To my surprise, Cal Exotics had not known about this problem. I was told I’d get a new one. A month went by, now they’re having problems with the molds for it. This whole ordeal makes me wonder what other faulty products they’ve sent out. How many have unknowingly used a Double Diver that was made out of jelly rubber instead of TPR? How many people’s health have been endangered because Cal Exotics’ manufacturer couldn’t keep the materials straight?

My disgust:

I am appalled to say that no recall has been made, to my knowledge. The company that I got the review assignment from has received no contact from Cal Exotics to recall the faulty Double Divers and send them new ones. I’m also appalled that Cal Exotics let such a huge mistake fall through the cracks.

I was told to hold off on my review until they send a new one and to reserve judgments until I receive one made of the proper material. I can hold my tongue no longer. As an advocate for body-friendly adult products, I can not sit on the sidelines while such a problem goes on without being properly dealt with.

Phthalates are dangerous! They’ve been shown to cause cancer and other numerous health concerns!

Cal Exotics, there is the possibility that you’ve exposed numerous consumers to this dangerous chemical because of your oversights! At least I caught the problem, but you need to take the proper steps to correct them. If you won’t recall the faulty Double Divers, at least let the companies that you’ve distributed them to know. That way, the companies can sell them at a discount and advertise to people that they are rejects made of jelly rubber.

You could be getting companies in trouble! Writing that the Double Divers are made of TPR on the package and letting the jelly rubber ones get out in those boxes is false advertisement! If you’re not concerned with consumer health, think of it in terms of legal problems you could face!

Will I ever get a replacement?

It’s going on two months, and still no replacement. I’m starting to doubt it. It shouldn’t take this long to make another batch in the right material.

I’ve emailed both Al Bloom and the Cal Exotics Sexpert program to enquire as to whether a recall has been made and have received no response.

So, how has this effected my feelings on being a Cal Exotics certified Sexpert?

Honestly, I don’t know what to think. On one hand, they make some good products. On the other hand, this whole Double Diver mess has made me wonder about Cal Exotics as a company. They need to take some responsibility and do a recall. They also need to keep a closer watch on their manufacturer so something like this doesn’t slip by again. Don’t be sleeping on the job.

Because of this whole mess, I’ve wondered what I should do. I guess I’ll just keep a close eye on them, for now. I hope I helped someone out there. I hope even more that no consumer has received a faulty jelly rubber Double Diver instead of the proper TPR one. I hope that nobody has had their health compromised by Cal Exotics’ mistake, but I’m sure someone who didn’t know better has fallen prey to this mistake.

"Saucy Spoons" Kama Sutra Cosmo's Way

This is one of our favorite positions. I love feeling him close to me. Since I'm so small and he's so big, it almost feels like he totally engulfs me. Spooning always feels very intimate and loving. And I think he just likes to watch me rub my clit while he penetrates me.

Which brings me to a suggestion: if this position gets to bland for you, have your man hold you tight and roll over on his back. He can wrap his arms around your ribs to hold onto you and help him thrust. You can either keep your legs together in between his legs, or spread your legs wide outside his. My hubby seems to like me to spread them wide. Again, I think he just likes to watch the action. ~_^ And since you'll have free hands, it's a great time to play with your clit or your breasts!

Cosmo's Kama Sutra Instructions:

Lie on your sides with him behind you so you’re both facing the same direction. Push your butt toward him as he enters you. Put your hand on his and show him how you want your clitoris to be touched. Have him alternate between there and your breasts.

Carnal Challenge

Why You'll Love It:

His hands can explore even the most tucked-away areas of your private parts. And your digits can give him some hands-on instruction, so you get the type of touch you need. Another passion plus: This position is perfect for languorous lovemaking, and the fact that you’re so close increases the intimacy.

Thanks for the tip Cosmo! Check in next Friday for another position from Cosmo Sutra. Alternatively, you can just get the book so you know all of them! 

Crystal Chic Wand – Che Chic

Another Sexpert assignment from Cal Exotics. The Crystal Chic Wand is made from Velvet Cote (a phthalate-free) material and is studded with genuine crystals to give it a more elegant look. It features one touch activation of 3 levels of vibration.

On low, the battery will last 12.5 hours.

On medium, the battery will last 9 hours.

On high, the battery will last 6 hours.

Not that you’d need it to last that long in one sitting, but it’s nice to know in general how long the battery will last.

Experience:

Well, my first thought about the Crystal Chic Wand was that it would be great to stimulate my hubby’s perineum during intercourse. My short little arms can’t always reach the proper spot, so this is a great way to fix that. Spooning is always fun, so we got into position and I tried to position the wand in the right spot. He was able to position it so that it was hands-free for both of us. And because of the angle I had it bent at, the crystal embedded end was in just the right place to give me some nice clitoral stimulation. It was almost like turning him into a rabbit vibe. That was nice for both of us.

Also, if you can bend it just right, you can have the end of the Crystal Chic Wand vibrate your clit while the beads are in your bum.

As for having it in during penetration, the vibes could be felt by my hubby, too.

FYI:When it says that you need to keep the cap closed tightly, it means it. At first, I just thought my battery was dying. I took it out and put in a new one. Still the same pathetic whisper of a buzz. I was starting to wonder if I had a bad wand. I looked at the sticker again and figured I must not have it tight enough and that was it. You really have to screw it on as tight as you can get it to make it work properly.

"Our design team outdid themselves on this one," observed CalExotics VP/Sales, Jackie White. "The elegance and beauty of the embedded jewels and powerful high-tech motor are a winning combination….and the fact that the graduated shaft pulls apart easily for cleaning makes it as easy to maintain as it is to use.”

Easy cleaning, eh? I’ll have to disagree with that one. Although the Crystal Chic Wand comes with a small slip of paper that details cleaning instructions, I find that it is difficult to sanitize it properly. The problem lies within the beads. Many of the beads are hollow and can easily harbor bacteria even after the wand has been lengthened to clean it. (Unless you have one of those special bendy brushes that look like pipecleaners, it will be hard to clean the cavities of the beads. ) Especially since it’s difficult to dry out the hollow beads. You just have to let them slowly air dry. The problem is, bacteria likes dark wet and unclean places, i.e. the wet spaces in the hollow beads.

 

So how do I keep it clean?

I’d suggest putting a condom or toy cover over the Crystal Chic Wand before you use it. I would recommend a condom, since I know that stretches far enough. I’m not sure a toy cover would. Boiling just the wand part would sanitize it, but that’s not a good idea for the material that the wand is made of. A diluted solution of bleach may be a good idea, though.

Material: EdenFantasys says “plastic”, but it’s really composed of ABS and PU Cote. It’s phthalates-free.

Lube: Cal Exotics recommends a water-based lube since the product is composed of PU Cote. Lubricants are must have sex accessories – find your own water-based lubricant here!

Waterproof: Yes.

Packaging: No problems. Comes in a plastic box. Be sure to recycle your packaging!

Length:11 1/2"

Insertable length:7 1/4"

Circumference: 3"

Diameter: 7/8"

Weight: 0.4 lb

Batteries: One AA (not included)

Vibration Level: 3/5 Average low, medium, and high settings.

Noise Level: 4/5 Since some of the beads are hollow, they can rattle around quite a bit depending on what angle you’ve bent the wand into and what intensity you have the vibration on.

Pros: No raunchy packaging! No phthalates, easy one-touch activation, long-lasting battery, easily bent, powerful vibes throughout the whole wand, pretty crystals for those of us who have a shiny complex, waterproof

Cons: Could possibly harbor bacteria due to the fact that it can be hard to clean. This is easily remedied by putting a condom on it, though.

You can register your Crystal Chic Wand at Vibetronics! All you need is the code above the UPC label that looks like this SE-0000-00-0

You can get the Crystal Chic Wand from EdenFantasys along with lots of other sex toys, lubes, and lingerie!

Crystal chic wand Vibrating probe by California Exotic Material: Plastic Safety: $0.00 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

FTC Statement: The Crystal Chic Wand was donated as part of Cal Exotics Sexpert program and was reviewed for EdenFantasys Affiliate Program.